Amarant and the Evil Daycare Children
by Spirits of Insanity
Summary: Pizazz: i just did a bit of editing on it, no other difference. heehee, we torture poor Amarant! Saria: we all know he hates kids right? well just picture him running a...DAYCARE CENTER!
1. The Crazyness Starts

Amarant and the evil daycare children Amarant and The Evil Daycare Children!!! (Saria: dun dun duuuun!!!) 

by: Pizazz and Saria 

Chapter 1   


Amarant walked aimlessly through the busy streets of Alexandria looking around to find something entertaining. He was bored, bored out of his mind. 

"God damn! There is no action around here!!! What've i gotta do to find something interesting in this damned town?!?" Amarant said out loud. Suddenly Garnet came running up to him. 

"Amarant! your just the man I was looking for!!" She said happily. 

Uh oh> He thought. "What do you want me for?" He asked. 

"Amarant you wouldn't happen to have anything to do would you?" she asked, rather nervously he thought. 

"No, your town is too damned boring!" he remarked gesturing to all the happy people going about there daily business. 

"I'll pretend i didn't hear that" she said coldly 

"Whatever, what did you want?" he asked i'm getting annoyed> 

"Well, I just started this new daycare-" 

"NO." 

"Oh come on! You haven't even heard what I'm going to say!!!" 

"I don't want to either!" he started walking away. 

"Oh come on! I'm the queen! You have to obey my orders! So sit your ass down and listen to what I have to say!!!" she pointed to the tavern. 

"My, 'your highness', your language certainly has gotten rather...colourful!" 

"Oh just go! I really need your help! You have to atleast give me a chance to speak!" 

"I just did, and your time is up" he again walked away 

"Fine then, you wont listen to me I'll make you!" she snapped her figners and about a dozen of Beatrix's soldiers appeared behind her and dragged Amarant into the tavern. 

"What the-" 

Soldier one: you have the obligation to remain silent 

Soldier two: anything you say can and will be used against you in the queen's passing of judgement 

Soldier three: you do not have the right to an attorney 

Soldier four: anything you say from this point on 

Soldier five: can and *will* result your execution 

Amarant arched an eyebrow. "Since when did you decide to butcher the American rights??" 

His only reply was sinister snickering from the soldiers and Dagger herself. "These are the *Alexandrian* rights." 

"Aww crap..." 

The soldiers dragged the poor Salamander into the tavern and threw him into a chair. Dagger sat down across the table from him and watched in amusement as Amarant fought the guards. 

"There is no escape." said Dagger with no emotion. 

Amarant grumbled a bit and ceased his struggling. "Alright, what the Hell do you want? Make it quick." 

"You aren't doing anything anyway, why should I have to make it quick?" 

"Touché. Speak." 

"Well as I have already told you, I've just opened the first Alexandrian Daycare Center. But we have no volunteers to run it. I'm a very busy queen, so obviously I can't run it. I was wondering if you could." 

"...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's the funniest damn thing I've ever heard! Me run a daycare, HA! You know I can't stand little kids!" 

"It's not a joke, Amarant." Dagger glared. (A/N: Dagger glared daggers! heeheehee) "I'm serious." 

Immediately Amarant's laughter stopped. "WHAT??!! I can't stand one brat, let alone...how many kids?" 

"About 21." 

"Let alone 21!! Besides, isn't Zidane free?!" 

"He's helping to rebuild Alexandria." 

A sudden shout from outside got their attention. Everybody looked outside in time to see Zidane swing by on a rope. 

"WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Oh hi Dagger! Look at MMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" 

Zidane flew by a few times hanging from his tail, then with one hand. The next time he went by he was hanging upside-down and in a tangled mess. 

"ACK! Dagger! Amarant! Help MMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" 

Amarant smirked and turned to Dagger. "You were saying?" 

"...You still have to run the daycare." 

" What about Freya...?" 

"Rebuilding Burmecia." 

"Mikoto?!" 

"Are you kidding? She's too...unemotional! She hardly even knows what a child is anyway!" 

"So?! I've got a cold heart, bitch!" 

"Too bad! Run it or I'll have you beheaded!" 

Just as Dagger said this, somebody dressed in all black came in holding an axe. This somebody looked strangely familiar. 

"Mikoto??!! What the-?!" Amarant's eyes widened as he said this. 

"I've been made the new executioner of Alexandria." replied Mikoto. 

The Salamander grumbled, and finally gave in. "So what's in it for me?" 

Dagger put on a sweet smile. "You get to spend time with lots of loving children!" 

"...That ain't gonna cut it. I want pay. Good pay." 

Mikoto raised her axe and made sure it was sharp. She then grinned deviously at Amarant. 

"Or any pay is fine!" 

"Good. How's 20gil per day?" 

"WHAT THE HELL??!! ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP ME OFF?!" 

Amarant was startled by a sudden thump as Mikoto tested her axe out on the table. She pretty much cut the table in half. 

"Damn," said Mikoto "I sharpened it before I came here..." 

Poor Amarant was speechless. He gulped. "20gil per day sounds fine." 

"Good! We'll see you tomorrow at the daycare at nine o'clock am. Here are the directions." Dagger said as she handed Amarant a map. "Bye!" 

Dagger, Mikoto and all of the soldiers walked out of the room. Although it took a bit of effort to dodge the still swinging Zidane. 

"AMARAAAAAAAAANNNNNNTTT!! HEEEEELLPPP!!" 

"How do I get myself into this shit?" mumbled the defeated Salamander as he walked towards Zidane's 'path of swing'. Just as poor Zidane swung towards him, Amarant jumped into the air and used his claws to cut the Genome down. "Dumbass..." he said while walking away. 

"Hey! I'm still tangled, help me!" 

"No. Get yourself out." 

"Damn it!" 

Mikoto stalked back over and swung her axe above Zidane's head. Although it looked like she just sliced Zidane in half, a second later the ropes fell away. 

Zidane got up and pulled off a few last shreds of rope. "Thanks sis!" 

"Don't mention it..."   
  



	2. Mini Spell Threats and Piss-Yellow Shirt...

Amarant and the evil daycare children2 Amarant and the Evil Daycare Children (Pizazz: you knew we'd be back!) 

by: Saria and Pizazz 

Chapter 2   
  


Nine a.m. in the kingdom of Alexandria was normally a beautiful time. Birds chirping, welcoming the new day. The sun rising, painting the sky with an array of reds, oranges and yellows. 

But it wasn't so beautiful today for one poor Salamander. He trudged down the street towards his unfortunate destination. And damn was he ever mad! 

"Why me, why me, why **_ME?!_**" Amarant grumbled to himself. His mood didn't lighten when he saw the door to his own personal 5th Ring of Hell; 

The Alexandrian Daycare Center 

Already, Amarant could hear the screams and squeals of too many toddlers than he knew he could take. Dagger was waiting outside. 

"Good morning Amarant! What a lovely day!" exclaimed the Queen. She had a sinister tone to her otherwise pleasant voice. "Are you ready to spend this glorious day with all those lovely children?" 

"No." 

"Too damn bad. Get inside." 

"Crap." 

Dagger held open the door for Amarant. He slowly walked through, humming the death march. Immediately after stepping into the room, he was swamped by toddlers. It took all of the Salamander's will-power to resist bringing out his claws and shredding them. 

"Kill me now..." he mumbled. 

"Alright children, settle down. It's story time!" Dagger addressed the tots. Amarant staggered back from the sudden decrease in weight as 21 kids jumped off of him. They ran and sat down on a round rug in the middle of the room. 

One boy wearing green overalls and a piss-yellow shirt spoke up (with your average toddler under-developed speech): "What stowy will you be telling today, Qween Gawnet?". 

"A story I made up last night. Oh, by the way Amarant, why don't you take a seat on the Magic Carpet?" 

"Magic...Carpet...? What kinda half-assed daycare is this?!" 

"AMARANT!!" 

"Qween Gawnet, what does half-assed mean?" asked a girl sitting beside Piss-Yellow Shirt Boy. She wore a purple skirt and a pink shirt. 

Amarant used all his willpower not to laugh hysterically as Dagger replied: "S-Something you shouldn't say! Amarant made a boo-boo when he said it and he's sorry. Right Amarant?" 

"No." 

"I summon Bahamut, Mega-" 

"Tsk tsk, you're not setting a good example for the children. And one of the tots might get hurt to! Not that I give two shakes of a rat's ass..." 

"Qween Gawnet," began Purple-Skirt Girl again. "He keeps saying bad words! Shouldn't he get a time out?" 

Dagger grinned deviously. "You're right. Amarant! Go sit in the chair in the corner over there! You have a ten minute time out!" 

Amarant looked at the chair Dagger was now pointing to. It had a sign taped to the back saying 'Time Out Chair'. He raised an eyebrow as he turned back to Dagger. "What the-? Are you crazy?! I'm not taking one of those stupid time outs! Do I look like a damn toddler to you??!!" 

"With your lack of self-control, it's hard to tell. Now sit in the chair." 

"No." 

"You know, I could make you a tot. I could simply cast my own special version of the Mini spell and you'd be back in diapers." 

"...I'm going to kill you." 

Dagger began chanting the incantation for her Mini spell. 

"I'M GOING, I'M GOING!" 

Amarant walked over to the Time Out Chair and slumped down into it. _This is going to be a looooong day... _he thought. 


End file.
